Is your diary busy? Do you find it difficult to make time to speak to your partner?
I don’t know what it’s like in other people’s houses, but my husband and I struggle to have a full conversation most days. If one of us is going out in the evening, it’s game over. There are constant interruptions, and as soon as it looks like we have something serious to talk about, the children sense it and find all manner of things to bring up.
It’s not just people with young children. A couple of close relations of mine were arranging a trip overseas, and needed to sit down and talk through their plans. When the male in the relationship wanted to look in his diary to work out when they could talk, the female was horrified. “We’re both retired!” she exclaimed. “Why should I have to make an appointment to speak to my own husband?”
I’ll have to check my diary…
I giggled when a friend posted on Facebook that her husband had their romantic cinema trip down in his diary as a “meeting”. I don’t think she was too impressed, but I can see his logic. Once it’s written on the calendar, it’s more likely to happen.
Should we be angry if our significant other has to plan in time to speak to us? Or is it the best option in a busy world?
I think there is some sense in it. Of course, making time for our other halves is important. We shouldn’t feel like we are bottom of the pile, or that everyone else’s priorities come before our own.
Having time to think
Sometimes we need time to think before having a serious conversation. When there are important issues to sort out, it might not be worth trying to squeeze them in between the children’s homework and bath time. I’m not suggesting that we set an agenda and send it out a week beforehand, but giving our partner a chance to think in advance about something that really matters to us before we discuss it can work in our favour.
I sometimes get accused of rushing my husband into decisions. To be fair, if I didn’t “rush”, nothing would ever happen… or so I see it! Planning time on our own, without the pressures of finishing off chores, can help us find the space to talk things through. Getting cross with each other because we are being interrupted doesn’t help. Making sure that we have put time aside to show we care about the other person is more productive.
You will be glad to know that my two family members did manage to have a great trip abroad. It was worth the angst of having to book an appointment as the planning went well. I wonder if the male in the relationship may tackle things differently next time the female says they need to sit down and talk together…
How can you make time for important people in your life?
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