I have been a bag of nerves this week.  The anticipation of which classes my children would be in next year got the better of me.

I know – it shouldn’t be a big deal.  Each year the classes change at my children’s school.  They are grouped by age, so sometimes they will be with children in their own year, and other times some will be in the year above or below.  It’s fine – children make new relationships all of the time.

Making new relationships

My daughter and her current best friend went into school holding hands, looking very glum, Two children running wild in the woods.  Anticipation: distasteful, or delicious?yesterday.  They anticipated separation for the next school year.  Miraculously, they are going to be together again!  Now, I didn’t predict that one.  My son is not with any of the boys in his current class, but I know he will be fine.  They change friends so often at that age that it shouldn’t be a problem.

So, why was I so worked up about something I couldn’t change?  I knew when it was going to happen, I knew that there may be tears, but whatever I thought or did would not change things.  They are as they are.  It is all out of my control.

Out of my control

Part of this affects me and my life, too.  It is not just about whether my children are happy, it actually has an impact on my situation.  There are many entrances to the school building, and the parents of the children in each class generally spend some time together, morning and afternoon, outside a classroom door.  Having people I like and trust around to chat to is important to me – it can make a real difference to my day.

So, if I’m honest, I was not only concerned about my children’s happiness, I was also thinking about my own.  I still get that feeling of anticipation as I walk into the school grounds: will the friendly parents be there already?  Or will I suddenly receive an urgent message on my phone that needs attention now?

My own relationships

I think it is okay to admit that I get on with some parents better than others.  We naturally Hands of little children taking coloured chalks out of a box.  Anticipation: distasteful, or delicious?gravitate towards those we feel we have something in common with.  And if I’m happy and confident when my children come out of school, hopefully some of my feelings will transfer to them.  We may travel home as one happy, contented unit.  (Or we may not…)

One thing I need to remember is to accept the things I can’t change.  Everything will work itself out in the end.  In the words of Julian of Norwich, And all shall be well.

What fills you with anticipation?

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10 comments

  1. Thank you Becky, I always find it very refreshing to hear people speak about the “reality” of a situation. Most people can admit things to themselves but are reluctant to speak out. Yet, I find, that when someone does, all the rest identify with it and realise they are not isolated and it’s normal to feel these things.

    As a minister, some of my own anticipations are centred around the service I provide and whether or not I am properly and competently meeting peoples’ spiritual needs. On the one hand I know it’s the Lord who provides and it’s a case of me (my ego) getting out of the way; but I can’t help falling into that anticipation of how people will react to what I provide.

    I must admit though, I am at my happiest and experience the greatest peace when I manage to just “let go and let God”.

  2. My daughter is starting reception in september and I’m not going to lie I’m really anxious for her. She is really excited and I should be as well. I’m socially awkward at times, so also wondering how I am going to interact with the other parents

    I just need to accept that I can’t really control how it is going to go and just be positive about her next milestone

  3. It’s always a nerve wracking time of year. In my experience with my older two though, change doesn’t necessarily mean a bad thing, they have just gone on to expand their friendship circles. I know what you mean about it being a little about how you feel too!

  4. That’s good that your daughter and her friend are going to be in the same class. I can’t even think what fills me with anticipation to be honest as I like to be in control of everything x

  5. I really struggled with baby and mum groups during my maternity leave as they all seemed so clique and I really didn’t get on with any of them. I’m hoping that the school experience may be different when we get to that stage.

  6. I think it is normal to be a bag of nerves when things are definitely out of your control but its all part of life but still fortunate your daughter and her best friend are in the same class still.

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